No disclosure means divorce

Remember the dictum about never asking a woman for advice about women? This answer from Dear Prudence to a man who belatedly found out about his wife's sexual past is exhibit A.

Your wife violated two rules: One, she didn’t tell you when she should have told you. Two, when she told you, she told you too much.

But you now need to put what you’ve learned into perspective. You two have been together for five years, and you don’t indicate that during that time you have ever had cause to doubt your wife’s fidelity or her satisfaction with your sex life. I don’t know if meeting you was the turning point in her life, or if by the time she met you she had moved past her emotional problems and was ready for a more fulfilling relationship. Whatever it was, it’s clear that when you got together she was a different person from the one who sought out illicit and even degrading encounters. You must know that people do change and that many people are able to leave destructive habits behind for good.

Your wife was not obligated to spill all to you when you were courting. But at some point after you two became serious, she should have informed you to some degree about her past, enough to convey the salient point that she once went through a difficult period during which she “self-medicated” through sex. She could have mentioned that she’d slept with married men and been unfaithful in previous relationships without going into detail. It would have allowed you to have a sense of her past without having disturbing images seared in your mind.

What’s important now is for you to remember that your wife is the same person you’ve known for the past five years, and that there’s no reason this confession should cast a shadow on your good fortune at finding each other. It would be sad if her desire to have you understand her better leads to your loving her less. You just recently got this news and have understandably been ruminating on it. Now it’s time to stop. See if you can decide to push these thoughts out of your mind and make the choice to return to being grateful for your life together.

Notice that at no point does Dear Prudence say that the woman should have told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Being solipsistic, women are always eager to protect their ability to hide their own secrets from men. But the fact is that any woman who behaved like this because "she felt sad" is almost certainly going to do it again, particularly one who exhibited no respect for the institution of marriage when on the other side of it. They've only been married for two years, and it's quite obvious that the distressed gentleman is a Delta fall-back scenario for the woman; the fact that he feels "quite lucky" to have her suggests that she's the most attractive woman who has ever been nominally interested in him, or at least in a relationship that involves him supporting her. Imagine that.

It's true, people do change. But they change for the worse as well as the better, and the scenario he is in is so common that there is a name for it: Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks. It seldom ends well even when there is a considerably less sordid backstory. There is a good reason he's having trouble accepting the fact that he married under false pretenses; he should follow the lead of the gentleman who belatedly found out about his wife's college threesomes and Next her without looking back.

There will always be reasonable exceptions, but in general, young men should start expressing a firm No Disclosure Means Divorce policy, as this is the only way that women will begin coming clean and permitting men to make informed decisions with regards to whom they will or will not marry. In law, willful failure to fully disclose amounts to misrepresentation and is grounds for negating a contract, and the same principle obviously applies to marriage.

Wikipedia: Misrepresentation is a concept in the contract law of England and some other Commonwealth countries, referring to a false statement of fact made by one party to another party, which has the effect of inducing that party into the contract. For example, under certain circumstances, false statements or promises made by a seller of goods regarding the quality or nature of the product that the seller has may constitute misrepresentation. A finding of misrepresentation allows for a remedy of rescission and sometimes damages depending on the type of misrepresentation.

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Wait, come back

They belatedly said:

So, since the fifties, these groups have been for women only. Now, after almost 60 years of reverse sexism, they aren’t getting anywhere with their exclusion of men and now want men to join? Seriously? Why would any men join up?

Dr. Helen was right. And what we're seeing from the women's networks is only a harbinger. Women are sensing that men not only don't need them anymore, they don't really want anything to do with them. And it scares the hell out of them. As it should, because women need mental buy-in from men a lot more than men need it from women.

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Hot white women and Jews most racist

I can hear Heartiste laughing from the other side of the ocean:

Among white women, one of the most striking findings is that white women who describe themselves as slim, slender, athletic, fit or average are nearly seven times as likely to exclude black men as dates as women who describe themselves as thick, voluptuous, a few extra pounds, or large. [ed: :lol: ]

For white men, body type has no effect on their likelihood of excluding blacks or Asians. While political views also have no effect on racial exclusion by white men, white women who describe themselves as liberal or very liberal are less likely to exclude black men as dates than women who are not political, middle of the road, or conservative. Surprisingly, liberal white women appear more likely to exclude Asian men as dates, although this finding only borders on significance.

Finally, religion affects black exclusion, and Asian exclusion among white women. Specifically, we see that whites who identified as Jewish were dropped from the analysis of black exclusion because it was a perfect predictor; that is, all white men and women who identified as Jewish excluded blacks as possible dates; all white women who identified as Jewish also excluded Asian men as possible dates.

Yeah, that's going to be a useful study the next time some Jewish liberal is wagging his finger about antiracism. When it comes to dating, there is literally no one more racist than a Jewish woman.

This again explodes the myth that the media has been relentlessly pushing about the sexual attractiveness of Africans. The more attractive a woman is, the more selective a woman can afford to be, the less inclined she is to mudshark.

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Um, sorry, we sort of lied

Remember all that instruction over the last three decades about how women are attracted to sensitive, New Age, Alan Alda-like men who cried and did household chores and sought to understand them? Yeah, not so much:

After 50 years of feminism, women want to fantasise about dominant men.

Are you sick of Fifty Shades of Grey yet? Not completely? Okay, well maybe this can be the last word. I should be qualified to deliver the last word because (there are going to be a lot of lists here): 1) I’m female, so I can start this piece with the all-important ‘As a woman’ clause; and 2) I’ve actually slogged through most of it.

Can we please dispense with all the faux handwringing about what it means for civilisation that a very long (514 pages) piece of crap sold 100million copies? The answer is gorilla-in-the-living-room simple. As a woman, I’m here to tell you that: 1) many women like porn – particularly if it’s jiggered for the female taste (made a little prettier with a little more plot set-up; foreplay, so to speak); 2) women will buy lots of porn if it’s packaged, and sold, correctly; and 3) in particular, what women have always longed for, at least in fantasy, is the alpha male (actually he doesn’t even have to be that alpha, just attractive) who will pursue them and then sweep them off their delicate feet. After nearly 50 years of the systematic bludgeoning of male aggressiveness in every form by feminism, women under the age of 50 have had very little contact in their actual lives with men who pursue, who grasp, who dominate. Still, many women have a vague, inchoate sense that this might be very pleasant.

The lesson, as always, is this: do NOT take female advice about women. They will steer you wrong every time. You don't need to understand why, you just need to know that it's true.

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The Dunham Horror's latest blunder

You know Lena Dunham must be extraordinarily well-connected, because there is no other reason for anyone to pay attention to the narcissistic child molester:

Dunham is being raked over the coals. Some critics are particularly offended by her having "equated" Jews with dogs, as the title of her article suggests. The Anti-Defamation League focused on this comparison, as well, calling it "tasteless." Dog-lovers, too, were irritated by the negative connotations.

Others are disgusted that The New Yorker allowed such stereotyping in its pages. And then there are those who are wondering why anyone should be horrified by Dunham's poking fun at Jews, when her recently published memoir revealed that she sexually molested her little sister.

Most striking about the enraged responses was what they did not include: The impunity with which women are allowed to express contempt for members of the male sex, while cloaking their own neediness and hunger for love in outdated feminist lingo.

Indeed, nobody calls them out on things that men could never get away with saying, certainly not in print.

I have to admit, I find it hard to summon up much sympathy for Jack Antonoff. Unless there is something going on beneath the surface that we don't know about, such as his family being held hostage, he is voluntarily choosing to spend his time with the Dunham Horror. And what are all the other petty humiliations in comparison with that?

How desperately thirsty can a man be to subject himself to that? The mind reels.

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SJW justice

SJW justice, especially that of the feminist variety, is slow, arbitrary, and irrational, as demonstrated by Wiscon. File 770 has the eyebrow-raising details:

WisCon has reached a conclusion about the harassment complaint filed by Rose Lemberg with the WisCon committee in 2013.

The substance of the complaint was that poet F.J. Bergmann harassed Lemberg by reading the poem “Meet and Marry a Gorgeous Russian Queen” at the Moment of Change-sponsored open mike at WisCon in 2012. Lemberg felt the audience was meant to identify traits mocked in the poem (accent, nationality, academic background) with her. Bergmann denied this here in 2013 and again here in 2015.

WisCon’s Statement on Findings & Recommendations, posted March 27, determined the reading could not be characterized as harassment:

The subcommittee considers F.J. Bergmann’s poem “Meet and Marry a Gorgeous Russian Queen” to be both anti-immigrant and potentially sexist. Given the timing of the poem’s genesis and publication, however, the subcommittee was unable to characterize this particular incident – the reading of the poem during the “Moment of Change” open mic at WisCon 36 – as harassment. The subcommittee’s research has documented that the poem was written long before the conflicts between Bergmann and Lemberg began.

Despite that determination, WisCon recommended Bergmann face consequences for what it termed a “pattern of caustic behavior toward anyone she disagrees with,” which include not allowing Bergmann to attend any of Lemberg’s events at WisCon, and limiting Bergmann’s volunteer duties (if any) to “non-public-facing positions.”

It took them three years to determine that reading a poem in public is not harassment, but they punished the poet for being "anti-immigrant and potentially sexist" anyhow.

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Gamma, not Omega

It appears the Chateau was correct. Andreas Lubitz was an embittered and heartbroken Gamma male, not a rage-filled Omega:

Maria told the German newspaper Bild: "We got to know each other last year on a flight and exchanged numbers, then stayed in contact. We met in hotels, but it was difficult because of our jobs."

Speaking of Lubitz's emotional make-up she described him as someone who was"nice and open minded" in public, but who needed constant love and reassurance in private.

"He was a good man who could be very sweet. He brought me flowers," but she added that he suffered from the pressure of his job, stating: "We spoke a lot about work and then he became another person. He became agitated about the circumstances in which he had to work, too little money, anxiety about his contract and too much pressure."

Maria said they eventually split up when she felt unable to deal with his growing problems and his increasingly volatile temper any more.

"During conversations he'd suddenly throw a tantrum and scream at me. I was afraid. He even once locked me in the bathroom for a long time."

German investigators refused to confirm whether the sick note, or the hospital treatment, related to depression, though Lubitz is reported to have taken time out from his pilot training after suffering mental illness before he finally qualified.

As the hunt continued for a motive for Lubitz’s mass murder, it also emerged that he had recently split from his girlfriend, and appeared to have made a desperate last attempt to win her back by buying her a brand new Audi car only weeks ago. She appeared to have said no, as the car was never delivered.

And some men wonder why women are instinctively creeped out and disturbed by grand gestures. It's a much finer line between "buying her a new Audi" and "crashing an airplane" than most people would like to believe.

As much as the feminists find it hard to believe, women are in far more physical danger from the Gammas who supplicate to them and are eager to grant their every wish than they are from the Alphas who objectify and use them.

Heartiste explains the difference:

When I saw a photo of the guy, my gut told me he was a lovelorn beta male candidate who may have flew (heh) into a psychotic episode triggered by a relationship breakup. I decided against my gut, in favor of the more “PC” speculation. I should’ve stuck with my gut. News arrives that Lubitz was seeing a therapist to get over his fiancée dumping him.

(NB: This isn’t omega male rage, a la Elliot Rodger. Omega males are sexless castaways. Beta males can get girlfriends, but are awful at maintaining relationship hand, so they frequently get dumped, what seems to them, out of the blue.)

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