The woman cries when she breaks your heart

Don't you see that when she breaks up with you, she's the one who's really suffering?

She doesn’t want anything to do with this. She hates the situation and she hates herself in this moment. She wishes more than anything that she could trade places with you. Yes, it seems like it’s a lot easier to be on her side of things. But really, she wants nothing to do with this side. She really, actually wishes she could be the one whose heart is getting broken, instead of the one who has to do the hurting....

She reminds herself that you can easily find love again, and maybe someday, you might just forget nearly everything about her. All she hopes is that you know she was trying to do her best. She was walking around blindly, completely terrified and hopeless and uncertain. But she was trying. She wanted to follow her instincts and do what she thinks was the right thing.

This is an Sigma blueprint for how to Next a woman.

I hate this situation and I hate myself. I wish more than anything I could trade places with you. Sure, it looks easier to be on my side of things, and to be having sex with a woman who is younger, hotter, and less sexually uptight than you. But I really, actually wish I could be the one whose heart is getting broken.

Don't you see that it actually hurts me more than it hurts you to hurt you? What sort of unfeeling monster are you, that you can't see how I'm the one truly suffering here?

I just hope you to know that I was trying to do my best. I'm just following my instincts and I'm afraid that one day you'll forget all about me. But I know I did the right thing, even though it was so hard. Don't, no, don't touch me now. It's too difficult. Just go... go!

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White knight... or black?

Even feminists hate the idea of monthly paid menstrual leave:

An idea so damaging to women, only a man could have dreamt it up: Catherine Ostler says top doctor's advice on 'menstrual leave' couldn't be more wrong.

Somewhere, surely, there must be a cigar-strewn cave where misogynistic men sit and concoct evil plans to get women out of the workplace and back into the kitchen. How else to explain the schemes that, on the face of it, look terribly sympathetic and female friendly, but are actually designed to ensure no rational person ever employs a woman again? Take, for example, the plotting that resulted in a woman's right not to tell her employer if or when she was coming back from her year-long maternity leave, making it impossible for firms to plan for either absence or return....

Gedis Grudzinskas, formerly of St Bartholemew's Hospital but now based in Harley Street, suggested that we poor pathetic women should receive 'menstrual leave'. He argued we should be entitled to up to three days' paid holiday — sorry, 'rest leave' — a month because of the bodily upheaval caused by period pains and menstrual tension.

Grudzinskas added that on no account should it interfere with our right to career progression. Yep. An extra 36 days — more than seven working weeks — off each year, just for women. In the real world that's unlikely to sour anyone's 'career progression', isn't it? The male members of staff would never notice.... those who would welcome his proposition for menstrual leave might consider the wider implications of suggesting that women are biologically incapable of working a full month, even out of the best of intentions.

Surely this move is nothing but yet another way to render the 'weaker' sex unemployable.

On the other hand, perhaps Dr. Grudzinkas - surely that can't be a real name - is taking black knighting to a whole new level. It has occurred to me that the fastest way to kill off feminism is to simply grant women even their most outrageous demands. I mean, take the new female quotas for corporate boards in Norway and Germany. Why leave it there? Why not embrace the ultimate black knighting and impose a 100 percent female quota on Congress and force women to assume the entire burden of running the country?

That's the dirty little secret of feminism. They are usually looking for a free ride, not to shoulder the actual responsibility. So give them the control they're demanding, but be sure to refuse to subsequently do the work for them as they're expecting. This works very well in relationships as well. Whenever a woman is running her "helpful criticism" routine, simply hand her the job, pat her on the back, and say, "Thank you. I expect you'll do a much better job than I possibly could."

Then walk away smiling. It's a win-win. Either you won't have to deal with it in the future, or she'll learn to keep her mouth shut when you're doing something.

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You may as well shut down

Any men's association as soon as you permit female members:

A coeducational Princeton University eating club has removed two officers from their posts after they sent out emails ridiculing women, in one including a sexually explicit photograph.

The first email, dated Oct. 12, showed a woman engaged in a sex act with a man in one of the public spaces of the club, Tiger Inn. It was sent out by Adam Krop, the club’s vice president, to all the names on a club-wide mailing list, and it was accompanied by a crude joke and a reference to the woman as an “Asian chick.”

Later that night Andrew Hoffenberg, the treasurer, sent an email to the same list regarding a lecture by the Princeton alumna whose lawsuit forced eating clubs to admit women. “Ever wonder who we have to thank (blame) for gender equality,” the email began. “Looking for someone to blame for the influx of girls? Come tomorrow and help boo Sally Frank.”

The Princeton Police Department said last month that it was investigating the first email to determine if a crime had been committed, either in the act itself or the distribution of an explicit photograph, which is illegal in New Jersey without the consent of the people pictured. But Sgt. Steve Riccitello, the public information officer, described the case on Monday as “pretty much on hold until a victim comes forward.”

It is time for college men to start rushing - and thereby destroying - women's sororities and other all-female groups. Women aren't going to start leaving men's associations and organizations in peace until men start methodically destroying their own single-sex enclaves, using the very weapons that women have devised.

“After carefully listening to all sides — and to you,” the board wrote, “it is clear to us that the actions taken by Adam Krop and Drew Hoffenberg in the second week of October were offensive, disrespectful and in direct violation of our core values. This afternoon we asked Adam and Drew to step down as vice president and treasurer.” The letter announced additional measures, including “a slate of officers that is more balanced by gender” and “a safe process for members to report incidents or concerns.”

Every male member of that group should respond by resigning. Tiger Inn is just another casualty of SJW entryism.

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The Tragedy of the Trans-Commons

As a transage activist, I couldn't help but shed a tear after reading this tragic account of the terrible suffering of a transfat individual publicly harassed and abused by a transphobic cismorph exercising his thin privilege.

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Ignore women in public

That's the short-sighted lesson being pushed by the mainstream media today:

A 24-year-old aspiring actress has been filmed being catcalled 108 times as she strolled around New York City - even though she was wearing a plain T-shirt, jeans and sneakers. Shoshana Roberts, a graduate of Kutztown University in Pennsylvania, was captured on a hidden camera by her friend, Rob Bliss, as she walked through the city's streets. Over a ten-hour period, she was pelted with dozens of unsolicited comments, including: 'What's up beautiful?', 'Hey baby', 'Smile' and 'Have a nice evening darling'.

Unsolicited compliments and greetings? It's almost rape! It's worse than the Holocaust!

"Miss Roberts wrote: "This happens daily to so many people. We don't put up with harassment in school, at home, or at work, so why should we have to put up with it on the street?"

She's right. They shouldn't. So, the next time a strong, independent woman you don't know looks to you for help in public, just smile, tell her you don't harass women, and walk away. And if she tries to talk to you, tell her to stop harassing you.

The ironic thing is that these men have it all wrong anyhow. They'd be much more likely to get a response from her if they glanced at her and laughed, rolled their eyes, or sniffed dismissively. Street neg, one might say.

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One "yes" is never enough

California law now makes official what Game has always taught: you cannot take a woman at her word:

Some people say that California’s “affirmative consent” law goes too far. But what these archaic misogynists don’t realize is that adult women are just not strong enough to articulate what they want in sexual situations. A lot of laws say that sexual assault is forcing sex on someone who said no or who is unable to say no. But here’s the problem: We need to realize that women are, in general, not able to say no. It’s too hard.

Oh, and by the way, just one yes isn’t enough. If a woman suddenly becomes uncomfortable during an intimate encounter, she certainly won’t be assertive enough to tell the man without his asking her first. Thankfully, California realizes this, and the law demands that the affirmations of consent be “ongoing.”

There are some amusing black-knighting opportunities here. Any time a woman says yes to something, come back again 15 minutes later and ask her again. And again. And again.

If she gets annoyed, just explain to her it is the law, and you are legally required to obtain ongoing affirmations of consent.

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"Rape harder"

Black knights are taking the fight to the rape fantasists on campus:

College men accused of date rape are fighting back with ethically dubious techniques including hacking, outing their attackers, and videotaping their sexual encounters, in addition to bringing an increasing number of successful law suits to vindicate themselves, says public interest law professor John Banzhaf.

Last week, at the University of Chicago, individuals allegedly trying to keep “the Hyde Park community safe from people who publicly accuse other people of committing varying levels of gender-based violence without any proof whatsoever…” hacked into a website of the school’s student organization and posted the name and photo of an alleged rape survivor as well as this threat: “Hopefully the class of 2018 is paying attention because otherwise the UChicago Electronic Army is going to have to rape harder.”

....As colleges are pressured to be more aggressive in finding students guilty of date rape, it appears that a few male students are beginning to follow the advice on various web sites to surreptitiously videotape their sexual encounters to be able to prove afterwards, if necessary, that the act was consensual.

For example, four students at Hofstra University were accused of gang raping a fellow student, but were freed when a cell phone video indicated that the sexual encounter was consensual.

Likewise, a San Francisco lawyer, charged with raping three women, had the charges regarding two women dismissed because he had videotaped those encounters, and another man was found not guilty of an alleged gang rape after a Cook County, Illinois, jury was shown a videotape arguably showing some signs of consent as pointed out by an expert witness.

If you're a male college student, then you'd damned well better be sure that you've got everything on video, because these days that's the only way you're going to be able to prove that you weren't raping her, otherwise they will absolutely kick you out of school and quite possibly try to see you charged in criminal court on nothing more than her word.

Most college women lie about rape because they are are encouraged to do so. Almost all the sob stories you will hear from them are nothing but attention-seeking fiction. And there is nothing "ethically dubious" about self-defense.

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Teach women not to rape

TIME observes that women rape men as often as men rape women:

For many feminists, questioning claims of rampant sexual violence in our society amounts to misogynist “rape denial.” However, if the CDC figures are to be taken at face value, then we must also conclude that, far from being a product of patriarchal violence against women, “rape culture” is a two-way street, with plenty of female perpetrators and male victims.

How could that be? After all, very few men in the CDC study were classified as victims of rape: 1.7 percent in their lifetime, and too few for a reliable estimate in the past year. But these numbers refer only to men who have been forced into anal sex or made to perform oral sex on another male. Nearly 7 percent of men, however, reported that at some point in their lives, they were “made to penetrate” another person—usually in reference to vaginal intercourse, receiving oral sex, or performing oral sex on a woman. This was not classified as rape, but as “other sexual violence.”

And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011).

In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: that women rape men as often as men rape women.

I was a victim of a female rapist. Where was the candlelight vigil on my behalf? Why was she never prosecuted? There is clearly a female rape culture and a conspiracy of silence protecting the women rapists in our midst.

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No, your mere company isn't enough

Yesterday, Eliza expressed some distinct surprise at the idea that men might not be interested in her company outside of sex. I suspect this is a not uncommon view among women, who fail to understand how very little interest the average man has in the company of women outside of the potential sexual aspects of the interaction.

Let me see if I can put it in terms women might understand. Do you know how little interest boys have in girls before they hit puberty? That is about how much non-sexual interest most men have in women. Not because women have cooties, not because men are misogynistic, but because men have absolutely no interest in the subjects that fascinate most women and tend to find the female forms of conversation circuitous and tedious.

Consider how much interest you would have in listening to me, or any man, discussing a 500-page rulebook that delves into great detail concerning the armor and light machine gun armaments of WWII-era Polish tanks. Or analyzing the ideal killing zones in the Call of Duty airport map. Or defending the case that Fran Tarkenton, and not Ken Stabler, was the best quarterback in the league in 1976.

(Don't pretend any of these things actually interest you. It may surprise you, but men see through your attempts to stake out a claim to be "gamer girl" or a "real NFL fan" or a "serious muscle car buff", most simply pretend otherwise out of either an acknowledgement for the gesture you're making or sexual interest. As it is said by a certain pop band, "boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny". Guess why?)

For most men, spending time in the company of women means sitting there in silence, with a tight, polite smile on your face, occasionally exchanging "kill me now" glances with the other men in the vicinity. Don't take my word for it, test it out for yourself. The next time you're in mixed company, try to count the rough amount of time that the women spend talking versus the amount that the men talk. In most cases, the ratio is 80-20, and not infrequently, higher.

This isn't always the case, of course, I am familiar with a few exceptions myself, but it is the general rule I have observed over the course of three decades. For some reason, it has been deemed the social norm for women to dominate the mixed discourse with the topics of interest to them, but rude for men to speak about their interests in mixed company. And yet, observe a group of men and you will see that they are perfectly capable of engaging in lively, dynamic conversations... just not about subjects of zero interest to them.

It's not a question of intellect or education either. In my experience, highly educated women are the worst, as they tend to have less interest in discussing any specific issue per se than proving to everyone that they are at least familiar with even the most esoteric subjects. If you find yourself in conversation with a highly educated woman, entertain yourself by making up something ridiculous, like the Nemean Dialogues of Socrates, the Decepticon of Ovid, or Lord Byron's epic poem, The Walrus and the Butterfly. More often than not, a highly educated woman will not only claim to be familiar with these nonexistent works, but will actually claim to have read them in college for one class or another.

(NB: Some men will do it too, usually Alphas or Gammas. The hardest part will be keeping a straight face, especially if you ask them to clarify a point or two for you that you've found difficult to understand. What did Byron really signify by the Walrus? I mean, the reference to England's sea power is obvious, but since the Butterfly represents the female spirit, what is the deeper meaning?)

Anyhow, the point is that outside of sex, women aren't very interested in men and their interests and men have even less interest in women and theirs. It is a simple and straightforward observation, there is nothing wrong with this perfectly normal state of affairs, and the better you understand it, the more easily you will get along with the opposite sex.

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The greatest crime against a woman

It's not domestic violence. It's not rape. It's not even a sexually transmitted disease. All of those terrible things convey much sought-after victimhood on a woman; that's why so many women claim they were date-raped or near-raped or pushed or frightened just to be able to posture as Saint Victim. The greatest crime a man can commit against a woman short of actually murdering her is exposing a factual element of her sexual history to the public:

“The Bachelorette” contestant Nick Viall stunned his former TV flame on Monday Night by revealing to a live studio audience that he had sex with her during the 10th season of the popular series.

In discussing their brief relationship on “After the Final Rose,” an emotional Viall, who earlier tried but failed to talk to “Bachelorette” star Andi Dorfman, said the two were intimate before she decided to accept the marriage proposal of Josh Murray.

“If you weren’t in love with me…I’m just not sure why you made love with me, either,” Viall said softly.

The visibly stunned “Bachelorette” quickly gathered herself.

“First of all, I think that’s below the belt,” Dorfman said, “that’s something that should be private and kept private.”

Viall, still obviously heartbroken, tried backtracking but it was too late.

“I’m not trying to put you below the belt…”

“You already have!” she snapped.

As the Chateau pointed out, it is just possible that this was a brilliant black-knighting, but it was probably nothing more than a sad and disappointed delta trying to figure out how it was possible for a woman to act on sexual desires unrelated to committed romantic love.

Speaking of THE BETA OF THE MONTH, my vote is for candidate number two, whose girlfriend went off on a vacation without him, got drunk, disappeared with two men, and came back home pregnant. The fact that the guy didn't ditch her on the spot, but promptly fell for the usual routine - "shes absolutely scared to death, shaking, sobbing, apologizing profusely" - would make one despair for the male sex if one wasn't aware of the socio-sexual hierarchy.

Understand this, gentlemen. The waterworks are a standard routine that women run to get out of trouble with men. The fact that she's pitching a weeping, frightened mea culpa, complete with anguished, body-wracking sobs, doesn't mean a damn thing. It's a performance. It is not indicative of how uniquely terrible she feels, how truly trustworthy she is, how out of character her actions were, or even of genuine remorse. It means nothing except that she is trying to convince you to absolve her of the consequences of her actions and resolve the situation to her benefit. The routine shouldn't influence your thinking in the slightest.

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Equality at last

A Game of Thrones's dedication to sexual equality is hailed:

We're now entering truly sexist-free television, with one of the hallmarks being a brutal, savage, dirty fight between an equally matched man and woman who punch and kick each other in the crotch with gusto.

Setting aside the fact that this supposedly equal match featured a physical freak and a man dying of an infected wound, it's fascinating to note that the pinnacle of equality is deemed to be, and I quote, the "best cunt punt ever".

I tend to suspect whoever is in charge of the Female Imperative will soon be rushing to redefine "equality" with no small degree of alacrity. In my experience, most female equalitarians tend to be in favor of being permitted to vote, divorce, and murder their unborn children, and they are rather less keen on the aforementioned punting.

But I could certainly be wrong. And I found this little window on female solipsism in action to be as amusing as it is expected.

Watching it with my mom. When the Hound got punched in the balls, she goes "ohhh, yeah!" but when Brienne gets kicked in the cunt she goes "oh that's awful"

Thereby demonstrating, once more, that it's not empathy. It is pure solipsism.

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Affirmative consent

This smacks of some world-class black-knighting to me:

A newly amended bill from a California lawmaker would require college students to stop in the heat of passion and establish verbal or written consent before having sex anywhere on campus, reports L.A. Weekly. SB 967, amended last week by state Sen. Kevin de Leon (D-Los Angeles), would mandate that college students obtain "an affirmative, unambiguous, and conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity."

Women are constantly whining about consent and attempting to transform it into a nebulous concept that can be ex post facto withdrawn at will. The law is a brilliantly subversive notion, because female competition being what it is, women will start competing to preemptively offer consent.

I suspect de Leon actually thinks he is white-knighting and addressing a Very Serious Problem, but then, those who don't understand Game often find themselves facing the unintended consequences of their actions.

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The happiness imperative

Happily married men and women really don't play the happiness card enough. Dalrock explains how it can effectively utilized:

As I’ve mentioned before after the initial empowerment fades divorced women tend to find themselves excluded from their previous social networks.  Married women tend to prefer to socialize with other married women.  Since marriage confers status on women (which divorcées lose if they aren’t able to remarry), being dropped from the married social circle and being forced to move to the divorcée social circle is a painful loss.

This simple fact has Ask Amy outraged, as a married mother wrote in explaining that she and her fellow married sister and cousins don’t find they have much in common with her single mother/divorced sister.  Ask Amy is of course free to rage against human nature all she likes, but she won’t be able to undo the status hit women take when they divorce.....

In the interest of bringing all parties together, I will offer a solution which I think Ask Amy and the letter writer can both get behind.  Instead of not inviting the divorced sister, why not promise, no swear, in front of God and everyone they know that they will include her in their outings in the future.  Then, when the time comes that honoring this promise would make them unhappy, simply leave her out.

 That should work nicely. Of course, there is always the possibility that in this particular case, the issue isn't the sister's status as a divorcée, but rather her status as a confirmed freakshow.

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A space of their own

I find the contrast between the female writer's reactions to the exact same concept being expressed by a man and a woman to be fascinating:

“You can have equality in all sorts of professional areas but I don’t see any reason why there shouldn’t be all-male clubs or all-female clubs if you want them. They’re just places you go to to enjoy yourself.”

Perhaps there is something in that. Kylie O’Brien, The Telegraph’s Weekend Editor, who is a member of women’s-only The University Women's Club, tells me: “I have to say, not having men around is really relaxing. It’s nice to be with your own kind. It’s rather warm and welcoming. I think that’s how men feel together. There’s a kind of sympathy together. I think it’s a good thing.”

She thinks it makes sense for men and women to have their own space, and cannot “see what prize there is for women to be gained” in becoming members at gentlemen’s clubs. In that respect, she agrees with Mr X and co, but when I tell her what they think about women’s “shrill voices” and the “slippery slope”, she replies tartly: “Well, if that’s how men really feel, they’re better off on their own.” Hear hear.

What men need to do is simply echo the female justifications for their own single-sex spaces. "It's really relaxing. It's rather warm and welcoming. It's nice to be with your own kind."

And if that isn't enough to get them to stop violating the male sanctums, then black-knight the hell out of them and invade women's shelters, women's gyms, and everything from girls' volleyball teams to scholarship programs.

It's really not that hard to understand why men sometimes don't want women around. Men can't relax around women and women usually attempt to make unwanted changes in any organization they join. Women should respect that, just as men should respect the female desire to keep men out of their bathrooms, locker rooms, and social clubs.

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Equality demands it

Women should soon be eligible for the draft. Because equality:

NCFM has filed a lawsuit that challenges the legality of requiring only males to register for the military draft.  The lawsuit was filed against the U.S. Selective Service System in the United States District Court for the Central District of California on April 4, 2013, Case Number 2:13-cv-02391-DSF-MAN .

The 1981 U.S. Supreme Court equal protection case of Rostker v. Goldberg, 453 U.S. 57 (1981) held that men and women were not similarly situated in the U.S. military because women were excluded from combat, therefore women did not have to register for the draft.  Dissenting Justice Thurgood Marshall wrote, “The Court today places its imprimatur on one of the most potent remaining public expressions of ‘ancient canards about the proper role of women’.”

In January, U.S. Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta announced that women will be allowed to enter all combat positions in all branches of the U.S. military, thereby removing the sole legal basis for requiring only males to register for the draft.

NCFM’s complaint alleges that because men and women are now similarly situated in the military, Selective Service’s requirement that only males must register for the draft violates the rights of both men and women to equal treatment under the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments of the United States Constitution, and under United States Code, Title 28, Section 1983.

Furthermore, men should be advised that if physically attacked by a woman, they should feel free to defend themselves every bit as vigorously as if they were attacked by another man. Because equality.

Black knight the hell out of every woman who so much as mentions the word equality. Treat her exactly like you'd treat a man who runs his mouth, who lays a hand upon you, who dares to get in your face and challenge you. The only way women will ever be convinced of the error of their feminist ways is to be forced to live up to the reality of their ideal.

And besides, there are few things funnier than the look on a woman's face when she suddenly realizes, to her abject horror, that she isn't going to escape the consequences of her own misbehavior by playing the "I'm a girl" card.

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Black knighting: Occidental 404

This is exactly the sort of thing that should be happening at every university across the country in the new year:

Occidental College has been barraged with bogus allegations of sexual assault in recent days after two groups, one claiming to represent "men's rights," set out to undermine the school's anonymous reporting system, a college spokesman said.

Shortly after members of the online communities Reddit and 4Chan began discussing the idea late Monday, Occidental spokesman Jim Tranquada said, the campus was flooded with reports — some by people who claimed to have been assaulted by "Occidental College," "feminists" or "Fatty McFatFat."

Over 36 hours, some 400 such reports were made. Occidental officials now are trying to determine how to isolate false claims from any actual assaults that may have been reported during that time.

However, it would be much better if the male college students would file genuine reports against women with whom they have actually had sex. I would encourage every man who hooks up casually in college to file a sexual assault report against the woman the following day, especially since the chances that a man actually gave explicit verbal consent are nil. This is the only way to destroy the unjust system of sexual apartheid that is completely stacked against college men.

Black knighting is all about turning the machinery of the system against itself. If a few outsiders can so effectively monkey wrench the sexual assault machinery with obviously false claims, imagine what those inside the situation filing genuine reports that are objectively indistinguishable from the reports filed by women can accomplish. Every single time a woman so much as touches a man without explicit permission, she should be charged with sexual assault.

Flood the system. Crash it with data. 404 it. It works.

"In a letter to faculty on Wednesday, Occidental's interim Title IX coordinator, Lauren Carella, suggested the college may shutter the reporting system."

That's in response to a single act by outsiders. Once the men within the system begin acting in self-defense, the feminists will have no choice but to a) start prosecuting women, b) openly admitting the sexual apartheid, or c) shutting down the system.

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Italian black knights

This action by the Italian police precisely demonstrates how you use the legal regime constructed at the behest of women against them:

Nina De Chiffre, 20, a student who was protesting last month against the construction of a new train link in northern Italy, was photographed as she kissed the lowered helmet visor of a riot policeman.

The photo went viral and was quickly held up as an example of non-violent protest, until COISP, a union representing Italian police officers, announced it had lodged a complaint with Turin prosecutors.

"We have accused the protester of sexual violence and insulting a public official," said Franco Maccari, the union's general secretary. "We fully expect an investigation to start."

Mr Maccari said he was not prepared to brush off the incident as a peaceful gesture.

"If the policeman had kissed her, world war three would have broken out," he said. "Or what if I had patted her on the behind? She would have been outraged. So if she does that to a man on duty, should it be tolerated?"

Men absolutely need to demonstrate the absurdity of the sex-related laws by relentlessly turning them against women. If you lift weights, register a complaint every time a woman feels your pecs or squeezes your arm without your permission, register a complaint. If you're in college, file a rape report every time the previous night's casual encounter wakes you up with a morning blow job. If you work in an office, run to HR every time a female co-worker mentions anything that is even remotely sexual within your earshot.

If you're not actively black-knighting, you have no one but yourself to blame if you ever find yourself falling afoul of the vast web of rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment laws that presently plague the legal system.

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The ultimate feminist fantasy

Or, to give it its proper name, pure and unadulterated horror:

“Good morning, Barbara,” the soft, pleasant, sexless voice said. “Time to rise and shine.” When there was no reply in sixty seconds, Snoozalarm tried again. “Good morning, Barbara. Please wake up.”

John got one eye sort of half-open, gave some consideration to waking up, then slid his hand around Barbara’s tummy and snuggled in closer, burying his nose in the back of her neck.

The clock’s voice became a bit more insistent. “This is the third call, Barbara. Please wake up. It is already 7:02.”

Her long, blonde hair smelled wonderful. He ran his fingers across the curve of her hip and down her thigh; she responded with a soft, throaty sigh...

“Barbara Lynn Murphy!” Snoozalarm shrieked. “If you don’t wake up this very insta—”

“I’m awake.” She started disentangling herself from John’s arms and pushing back the blankets.

“Snuggle one more minute?” John suggested.

“Afraid not.” Yawning, she sat up on the edge of the bed and started working the kinks out of her neck.

“It’s a lovely morning, Barbara!” Snoozalarm said cheerfully. “The current temperature is 56, with a predicted high today in the low 70’s. The air pollution index is low to moderate, but there is a 60-percent chance of rain in the late afternoon, so be sure to take your umbrella.” Barbara pulled on her terrycloth robe and wandered into the bathroom.

“The regularly scheduled breakfast for Friday is orange juice, wheat toast, coffee, and mushroom and cheese omelets. Do you approve, Barbara?”

“Yes,” John said.

Thirty seconds later Snoozalarm said, “I’m waiting for your okay on breakfast, Barbara.”

“It’ll be fine,” John said.

Another third seconds later Snoozalarm said, “The regularly scheduled breakfast for Friday is—”

“BARBARA!”

She stepped out of the bathroom. “What’s wrong, honey?” John just scowled and pointed at the alarm clock. “Oh. Yes, that’s fine.”

“Thank you,” Snoozalarm said.

“Barb,” John asked, “how come that thing still won’t take orders from me?”

To understand what this has to do with Game, read the rest. It is fortunate for men that women have so little interest in technology or there can be little doubt it would soon become a reality.

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