Why men don't like female sportscasters

Badger forwards a tweet and observes that media's finest know what is really important in picking the winner of a football game.

Ashley Adamson @AdamsonAshley 7h

David Shaw showed up to the press conference in an amazing black leather jacket. May have to pick Stanford tomorrow.

Ye cats.

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How to start a marriage on the wrong foot

I never paid any attention to the "cocky-funny" spams that used to show up in my inbox a while back. But even so, I don't know how anyone who even understood just that much about women could go so wrong on his wedding day:

Mr. Pagan, who under his Deangelo alter-ego preached the joys of being cocky and funny, never showing any weakness with a woman and constantly keeping her guessing, has gotten married.  And he’s done the whole thing in a self-humiliating style that I just can’t ignore.

So here is a bit from his wedding registry

“Soon after, Eben gathered his tribe in yet another circle, placing 3 women at the front of the room: his ex-girlfriend Rose, myself and his friend Shannon.” Rose was the only other serious romance he’d ever had.

“He kneeled before her and began to recount all the hard-won lessons learned from their relationship. He thanked her for being his teacher, for enduring the drama, and for preparing him so perfectly for me. Then, body to the ground, he bowed to her in reverence.”

Spammers are scammers, I suppose.

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Short-haired humor

Some more recent responses to the popular post on the unattractiveness of short hair on women.  Hayley doesn't take the news well:

Fuck all of you that say short hair makes a woman less beautiful. Sure, it may not work on some women, but if her physical appearance is all you love her for, you seriously need to reexamine your priorities. Fuck you.

She is putting the cart before the horse there. How is a man ever going to love a woman if he's not attracted to her in the first place?

Kimbrena fails logic 101:

How about women cutting their hair because THEY WANT TO? Maybe they LIKE short hair and don't care what a man thinks about it. What about the women that are confident in themselves and don't measure their worth by how attractive men are of her?

What about them? No man cares why you're unattractive. He's just not attracted to you. And if a woman doesn't care what a man thinks, then obviously there is no problem. He'll find her unattractive and she won't mind.

Mimi postulates repeating the obvious:

What if I told you women don't cut their hair solely with mens' opinions in mind. One more time: WOMEN DON'T CUT THEIR HAIR SOLELY WITH MENS' OPINIONS IN MIND.

Some women prefer having shorter hair. It's easier to manage and maybe it just makes them feel good about themselves. THEY like how it looks on them, so who gives a fuck what closed-minded guys think? A woman who is confident enough in her sexuality to cut her hair short deserves a man who's confident enough to say "Hey, she's hot!" without her hair being an issue. CONFIDENCE is the key rather than hair length. And honestly, are we really going to say that just because Emma Watson got a pixie cut, she's no longer FUCKING GORGEOUS? I think not.

One last thing: women falsely complimenting other women on their short hair choice because it bumps them up the sexy ladder?! Bullshit. Not all women are conniving bitches. In fact, most of us genuinely compliment our friends when they look good. Anyone that thinks otherwise watches way too many scripted reality shows.

Again, it is irrelevant WHY women cut their hair short. The point is that most men, the vast majority of them, find it unattractive. That is the fact. Who gives a fuck what those men think? Presumably women who would like male attention and hope for men to find them attractive. It's not about confidence. Men aren't women, they aren't attracted to confidence and they certainly aren't going to say "hey, she's hot" about a woman with short hair because the short hair makes her look less attractive.  And yes, Emma Watson is no longer FUCKING GORGEOUS with her pixie cut. She downgraded herself from "pretty" to "cute". Babies are cute. Puppies are cute. With the exception of the occasional pedophile, adult men are not sexually attracted to "cute".

As for the idea that women don't sabotage each other, well, Mimi probably doesn't realize that the women complimenting her on her short hair are laughing at her behind her back. Observing them in action, women primarily compliment the flaws in other women, particularly related to her weight or her hair. A woman who actually looks good is inevitably "too skinny" or "has split-ends".

Bethany completely misses the point:

What a vain post. I do believe that a man after a woman's HEART, Is far more attractive than a childish one looking only at her appearance. Those are typically the ones found unfaithful, considering with time outward beauty fades inevitably, and there will always be someone prettier around the corner. Hair is such a petty, shallow thing to seriously be a determining factor. Personally, I am trying very hard to grow my hair out, just because I want to and it is beautiful, but I certainly wouldn't go to the extreme you have. I'm embarrassed for you. 

That may be. However, the post is about what MEN find attractive. It's not about what women find attractive. And men will never get to the deeper aspects of a woman if they are repelled by the petty shallow ones.

Hannah also fails logic 101:

Just a thought, but maybe these women with short hair aren't living their lives for the sole purpose of being attractive to 'most men'? Maybe they like being attractive to the more discerning 'fewer men'? Or, (can you believe it?!), maybe, just maybe, they have more exciting things going on in their lives than just whether a man will be attracted to them or not?

That's fine. I'm sure they'll have a fulfilling relationship with their many cats. Men truly aren't bothered by unattractive women. They don't even notice them. If a woman's goal is to be invisible to men, cropping her hair is an excellent way to go about it.

Sarah pretty much explains why men find short hair to be a sexual turn-off:

Not all short hair is meant to be edgy or cool. I cut it because it embodies the character of a gamine (a girl with impish appeal). Free-spirited, kind, playful, and a bit innocuous. I'm not comfortable with being a sexy, sultry, come hither woman whose long flowing hair trails past her shoulders and between her breasts...

Hmmm, a sexy, sultry, come-hither woman or a free-spirited innocuous one. That's what men really want in bed. Innocuous. But it is nice that the women uncomfortable with their potential sexual appeal to men are willing to advertise this and make it easier for us to avoid them.

Luka can't even tell how long her own hair is, but that doesn't stop her from having an opinion:

I can never tell if my hair is short or mid-length, since the shortest strand is 4cm and the longest maybe even 18cm, but I will comment as a short haired woman. I have never EVER wanted to cut off my hair to show off or because I wan't to know if I am attractive no matter what happens inside space and time. You're also INCREDIBLY absurd saying that women over-rarate themselves. I've cut my hair for two reasons. First, I always felt like I have quite big features compared to my face size. In general, women with smaller features look better in long hair in my opinion. Cutting my hair meant that I could make it puffy and don't look like a long-haired soaked puppy all the time. I really hate when hair just lays there and looks like a 2D piece of paper on both sides. For me that felt like really feeling bald, with just a glued piece of paper with hair on it. That was about, lets don't overegsadurate, 89% of my reason? The second reason was that I wanted to become stronger. I was, and I still am, not confident. I don't think I am pretty at all and if i was giving myself a rating I just wouldn't be able to do it - there isn't any rating because I don't have any confidence whatsoever to actually consider myself attractive in any part of my life. I don't know where you've seen those women you are talking about. But I can assure you that you know nothing about the reason women cut their hair. Absolutely nothing. Better not make any more blog post on women.

And one comment wasn't sufficient for Luka to express the fullness of what pass for her thoughts:

The truth is that all the women that are ''pissed off'' are just very saddened by the level of male stupidity. Every woman wants a man that can love her no matter her hairstyle or looks. The only thing I would accept is a man that wants a women to care for herself. This type of a man seems to be extremely seldom. And will always be seldom.

Heterosexual women cut their hair to find a man just like that. It is nothing to do with showing off their beauty.

Personally, there are some women that look way better in long hair then short, and MOST short hairstyles are just ugly if I am to be honest. I don't think that bold hair or very short trim looks good on men or women.

The whole blog post was about women who look great with long hair cutting it short, rather than women who actually look so much better with short hair than long. Next time everyone simply needs to take into consideration that a man may have extremely limited knowledge about women, bless these idiots and wankers.

Yes, I'm sure they're just "saddened". They're not at all upset because the fact of their unattractiveness and the reason for it have been brought to their attention. I do so enjoy the futile attempts of women to emotionally unbalance those who don't care what they think. It's like bringing a knife to a space battle. It's not so much ineffective as a category error.

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Alpha Mail: on the feminine virtues

AD wrote and asked me to write about the feminine virtues. But rather than simply listing the virtues described by Paul and Proverbs 31, since AD can look those up for herself, I thought I'd take a different approach and see where that led us.

We can discern the masculine virtues by observing what male behavior causes dismay and disgust in both sexes.

Courage: we detest the male coward.
Duty: we despise the man who shirks it
Sobriety: we detest the male buffoon
Honor: we despise the man who won't keep his word or stick to his principles
Strength: we despise the man who is weak
Fidelity: we distrust the man who cheats on his wife

In this vein, for what sort of women do we naturally tend to harbor contempt:

The slut: therefore, chastity is a feminine virtue
The hag: therefore being open and upright is a feminine virtue
The adulteress: therefore fidelity is a feminine virtue
The gossip: therefore being reticent is a feminine virtue
The mean girl: thereby kindness is a feminine virtue
The flutterbudget: thereby tranquility is a feminine virtue
The bitch: thereby submission is a feminine virtue
The slob: thereby cleanliness is a feminine virtue
The bad mother: thereby maternal caregiving is a feminine virtue
The ungrateful: thereby graciousness is a feminine virtue
The spendthrift: thereby thrift is a feminine virtue
The whore: thereby self-respect is a feminine virtue

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Alpha Mail: the value of feminine virtue

AD is having trouble balancing her admiration for the male virtues with being a woman:

I have to thank you for changing my life. I stumbled across your blogs this past July and they have radically altered my thinking. I am a full believer in HBD and the socio-sexual hierarchy, etc.

On that note-- I've had a hard time adjusting. In the past I've drafted emails to you that I never sent, seeking advice on what to do with myself if I'm not supposed to be assertive, or to take on leadership roles, or... just any of the things I'm used to doing that are masculine. I've had a hard time realizing that everything I liked about myself was masculine, but I am, in fact, a girl. Until yesterday, when I found Part 1 of that Saving SF from Strong Female Characters essay, I had a hard time imagining that women were good for anything. I've been so wrapped up in these ideas of solipsism and hypergamy and everything else that makes women women as Ultimate Evils and I haven't known what to do with myself, or how to reconcile it all. Part of it, I think, is the feminist indoctrination that really taught me that femininity is lame and everything good and to be aspired to is masculine. I appreciated Wright's discussion of feminine strength: even though I'm still not 100% on board with it, it is a comfort to think that there's something potentially strong, or decent or good, about femininity.

Would you blog about the traits a decent Christian woman should develop, which are feminine in nature? And also, which things to NOT do, which are masculine in nature? I am a fan of conforming to reality and reality happens to involve gender roles. I've always known that, but now that I'm trying to implement it, I find myself at a loss. The one thing that Game blogs make very clear is the importance of appearance, and I 100% agree, and I take care of my body. But beyond that, what character traits are there that I should be developing? What more masculine traits should I be avoiding? I feel like every thing that I like about myself--directness and assertiveness and intelligence and so on--are basically supposed to be used by men and not women... so I don't know what to do, except maybe try to be less aggressive and more passive-aggressive in my life. I will admit I am a pretty aggressive person. But the idea of cultivating passive-aggression doesn't sit that well with me at this point. It's one of my least favorite aspects of humans and one reason I've always hated hanging out with other girls.

Just in case it matters, I'm a 25-year-old white woman--been married for five years this month. Earned my degree in soil chemistry when I was 20. I'm 12 weeks postpartum with my 2nd kid. I've been a SAHM for almost three years now. Ever since I started high school, I've been the default leader of every group I've belonged to--not because I necessarily wanted to lead, but because people would just turn to me like I was supposed to lead them, and strategic thinking and delegation come very naturally to me (but should I be deferring to men to do that?). I go to church every week, study scriptures and pray every day, and am thoroughly convinced of my need to start being more feminine. I just don't know where to start, beyond taming my gloriously post-partum figure.

Thanks for everything, again. You really have changed my life. You've made it a lot harder, admittedly--but it's for the better. Thanks for introducing me to reality.

I think I'm going to have to break my response into several parts. Consider this the introduction. Let's start by looking at something very basic: intelligence. AD is obviously intelligent, she values intelligence, but at the same time, being a woman, she is naturally hypergamous. So, this means that she's simultaneously a) attracted to men who are more intelligent than she is, and b) insulted by the idea that men might be attracted to women who are less intelligent than they are.

Catch-22. Do you see the intrinsic problem there?

This intelligence-related dichotomy is AD's problem writ small. And this is why she shouldn't ever wish to be what she is not. To be a man requires more than exhibiting male traits, it also involves valuing what men value. AD is making the classic female mistake of conflating the possession of a trait and the valuing of it in others, thereby setting herself up to violate the "opposites attract" rule.

Where to start? I think by first attempting to intellectually grasp the difference between being and being attracted. AD might be aggressive, but I very much doubt that like an aggressive man, she is very attracted to submissive members of the opposite sex. Once she grasps that essential difference, she should be able to take the next step and begin understanding that it is not at all important to develop the masculine virtues in herself that she values in others, but rather the feminine virtues that her husband values in her.

I will address what those feminine virtues are in a future post.

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That dumb blonde may not be dumb

Men and women can identify smart men on sight. Smart women? Not so much:

We used static facial photographs of 40 men and 40 women to test the relationship between measured IQ, perceived intelligence, and facial shape. Both men and women were able to accurately evaluate the intelligence of men by viewing facial photographs. In addition to general intelligence, figural and fluid intelligence showed a significant relationship with perceived intelligence, but again, only in men. No relationship between perceived intelligence and IQ was found for women.

We used geometric morphometrics to determine which facial traits are associated with the perception of intelligence, as well as with intelligence as measured by IQ testing. Faces that are perceived as highly intelligent are rather prolonged with a broader distance between the eyes, a larger nose, a slight upturn to the corners of the mouth, and a sharper, pointing, less rounded chin. By contrast, the perception of lower intelligence is associated with broader, more rounded faces with eyes closer to each other, a shorter nose, declining corners of the mouth, and a rounded and massive chin.

I've long has the impression that you can discern high and low intelligence by the eyes. Intelligent people usually have eyes that either sparkle or burn. I seem to have the latter; it's not uncommon for people to step backward in alarm when I forget to do what I think of as turning down my eyes. Stupid people, on the other hand, tend to have eyes that are dull and unfocused.

It is interesting, though, because the study matches my own experience. I have, on occasion, been taken completely by surprise with the unexpected intelligence of a woman, whereas that very seldom seems to happen with men.

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Gift Game

In The Book of Basketball, Bill Simmons has a footnote about a freshman gift gone woefully awry. In an apt comparison to the MVP vote for Wes Unseld, he recalls buying a half-dozen roses for a girl with whom he'd made out a few days before. Her reaction to the gift was so negative that he concludes a handful of plutonium would have gone over better; apparently she nearly left treadmarks running away from him.

Now, I once bought Spacebunny an expensive pair of quasi-steampunk designer sunglasses about two months after we met. Not only didn't she object, she was delighted with them and didn't lose any attraction to me as a result.  So why would a cheap gift of a few dollars set off alarms when an expensive gift of several hundred dollars didn't?

Although my SMV at the time was higher than Bill's, remember that it was already established that the girl concerned was at least somewhat sexually attracted to him. And although my SMV was higher, well, SB's was almost certainly higher than Janine Cunningham's too. Because Holy Cross.

The reason, in retrospect, is pretty simple, although I didn't realize it at the time. You see, the reason I was at the store was because I was there buying myself a rather expensive pair of prescription sunglasses, a pair that subsequently drew comments from a game industry magazine.

"Besides sporting the de-rigor all black outfit of a game developer, Theodore sports shades - indoors mind you - that look like they're made out of titanium and probably cost more than the entire budget of the Gamasutra yearly booze allotment."

So, the shades I bought for her were correctly seen as an afterthought, rather than the pressure-inducing bid for commitment they might have otherwise been considered. And, in fact, they were an afterthought of sorts, since I simply thought they'd look cool on her and would kind of match my own ineffably awesome style.

Anyhow, it strikes me that if you want to buy something for a woman, the safest and most effective way to go about it may be buying something even better for yourself first. There is a massive status difference between offering up a gift in supplication and giving one that comes with the implicit message: "yeah, you're going to want to up your game if you're going to run with me."

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