At some point, men have to realize that the "never hit a girl" strategy isn't working. Keep in mind that this man is a U.S. Marine:
She kicked my head into the solid wood base. I blacked out, came to, stood up, bleeding. My daughter was screaming, “Stop hurting daddy!”The solution is simple. It is very simple and it's very effective. If a woman physically attacks you in a manner that indicates her serious intent to harm you, then you beat the living shit out of her. Beat her so badly, so painfully, that she fears for her life.
It was over. We were over. I headed out the door to the police and then the hospital. My daughter stopped me. “Daddy, you need to go to a doctor, here take this,” she handed me a bandage. “I love you” was the last thing I said to her. It’s been almost a month.
I walked into the police station falling apart. What happened? What will I do next? What happens on Monday? What happens for the rest of my life? How will I explain what just happened to my kids? My head was spinning as much from the injury as from the complete collapse of my home life. I knew the officer, I had came by the night before suspecting that my wife was leaving with the kids, he assumed why I was crying, “hey man, it’s alright, you knew this was going to happen….”
I pulled off my sunglasses and revealed my bloody face. “Whoa, what the hell happened?”
I started piecing together what happened. The argument, her throwing the breakfast I was making for the kids on the ground, grabbing my laptop, the stairs, my kids, screaming. I pulled out the Band-Aid and broke down again.
“Is she hurt? Did you hit her…?” No. Never. I waited.
“We’re sending a car over there to talk to her.” I waited some more.
“You wife is telling a bit of a different story, as happens a lot in these situations, she says you threatened her.”
“We’re going to take you into custody now.”
“Stand up and put your hands behind your back.”
An hour later I was handcuffed to a hospital bed waiting for CAT scan results to know if my head was bleeding. I looked at the officer.
“What do you do when a woman hits you?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, man” he confided. “We don’t like doing these things, but our hands are tied."
Afterwards, calmly explain to her that if she calls the police or tries to press charges after she attacked you and forced you to defend yourself, you'll simply do your 30 days or whatever and then you'll come back and do it again. Only this time, you won't be merely defending yourself. You'll be looking for payback, and payback is a serious bitch. And remind her that the police won't be there until after the fact.
She'll believe you. Remember, first and foremost, women are creatures of fear. Because they are so fearful, they have created a system where men are arrested and punished and lose access to their children even when they are attacked, even when they don't defend themselves. The object is to make her understand that simple fact that the vast edifice of the police and the legal system are totally incapable of protecting her. Which, as it happens, is completely true.
Dalrock wrote about the same article and concluded, presumably at least half tongue-in-cheek: "The only answer is to walk on eggshells and keep her from becoming unhappy, and focus on taking precautions to make it harder for her to use the domestic violence system against him."
That won't work. Now, it is true that women have created what is a no-win legal situation for men. But what is another word for a no-win situation? A can't-lose situation! In other words, carte blanche. But there is more to it than that.
Haven't you ever notice that the real male predators, the real abusive men, are very seldom arrested for domestic abuse, and are even less often convicted of anything? On the rare occasions they are charged, they are often released without trial because the women they abuse won't testify against them. That's because abusive men instill fear in their women, and as Roissy has often noted, the defensive cringe is the trigger for female sexual arousal. Abusive men don't select women who just magically happen to be too submissive and fearful to even think of acting crazy and attacking them, they make women that way. That's why women fear them so much. They have a sense of the power men who are willing to use force have over them.
In fact, there is some reason to believe that female craziness and subsequent attacks may stem from an excess of male passivity, engendering not only female contempt, but female violence. That's not the entirety of the case, but there does appear to be sufficient correlation between female aggressiveness and male passivity to suggest some degree of causation there.
But don't forget the most important part once things calm down. Unless the experience of being on the wrong end of self-defense seriously adjusts her behavior, (and I think this is possible since many women respond very well to harsh reality checks), get the hell out of the relationship as soon as possible. Remember, regardless of what the law says, defending yourself is not abuse, assault is abuse. And no man should subject himself to life with an abusive woman, particularly under the current legal regime.
Now, this advice should not be mistaken for general relationship advice. Notice that it is an IF-THEN statement. I have never laid a hand on my wife in anger, nor has she ever attacked me. Fortunately for most of us, violence is simply not an aspect of our relationships. But we're not talking about most people here, we're specifically addressing men who are suffering domestic abuse compounded by subsequent legal abuse. And, as per Game, it behooves such men to look at other men, men who are naturals, and learn from their observably more effective tactics for dealing with problematic women.
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