An Alpha widow

Han Solo annotates the confession of a Alpha widow:

I recently came across a photo of a sexy Brazilian man I had an affair with a few years ago. (OK, I Googled him.) [You know a woman has a robust hamster when she tries to make her nostalgic searching for photos sound like she just "came across" one.] When I saw his sly smile and unruly black hair, I couldn’t help thinking that, by comparison, my live-in boyfriend wasn’t quite as darkly seductive or exciting. [Well, that's because he isn't!  Alpha widow anyone?  Fuck phantoms* lurking in the dark?  Notice how the hot guy from her past still lurks in the dark shadows of her heart but she settled for the stable nice guy.  Changing lanes anyone?  A certain version of AFBB, perhaps?

*Fuck phantom--a phrase coined by Bastiat Blogger:  a man from a woman's sexual past who lingers in her erotic memory, often the cause of intense longing, desire and withdrawal symptoms]

I met the Brazilian in line for a film screening [...this guy sounds like the fuck phantom of the opera...] while visiting Manhattan from San Francisco. I was convinced I’d found my ideal man: intellectual, witty, artistic, and hot. We spent a passionate week together, and when I left town, I thought I was leaving behind a new long-distance boyfriend—one who, it turned out, didn’t like to call or e-mail…ever. I thought our fling was the start of a relationship; he thought it was a fling, period. [Typical delusion where the man has clearly placed the woman on the fuck ladder and she thinks she's on the relationship ladder.  See this study where women fuck hotter men and where more women than men thought they were in a committed relationship while more men than women thought it was just sex.]

Disappointing, but it fit my usual pattern. [In the sphere we're quite familiar with this "usual pattern" of women hypergamously wanting the hot guy to commit but usually ending up as a fling.] I would fall for a brilliant guy with an irresistible smile who never quite fell for me but who possessed all the qualities I liked in a man: a sense of humor, certified smarts, smoldering looks. Each time, these men—dashing chefs, moody architects—would give me just enough attention to keep me in their narcissistic orbit. Whether or not they’d ever call was just part of the thrill, always keeping me on edge. Outwardly, I told myself I was having fun and it was just a matter of time before someone wanted to settle down; inside, I started to worry that I wasn’t lovable or exciting enough.

[Notice how she would fall for guys that wouldn't fall for her.  Of course, she hamsters out and accuses them of being jerks and narcissists.  Maybe they were but more than likely they were men that could get hotter and nicer women than her and so of course they would only view her as fling material.  Regardless of how outsiders would rank this woman and her fuck-fellows, in the only market that matters, namely the market of HIM and HER, her relationship value in his eyes was far below his value in her eyes and thus he never commits.  And since there's a recurring pattern here, it's easy to conclude that she is a habitual hypergamous chaser, always trying to catch the man of her dreams.  And notice how she thinks she's oh so close and that just next time the brooding, spontaneous hotty will finally fall in love with her.

Then she worries about whether she's lovable enough.  Well, let me tell you this straight out.  No, you're not lovable enough to the men you're choosing.  They only see you on the fuck ladder, not on the love-and-marriage ladder.  This is one of the hardest red pill truths that the more hypergamous half of women have to confront:  the man you can get to commit to you will nearly always be less hot, exciting or famous than the man you can get to fuck you.

And another important point is that you will feel low self esteem when you get flinged and flung, elated and deflated, pumped and dumped. When your expectations are too high then you will feel that you're not good enough...but this isn't just a feeling, it's the cold, hard truth of the morning walk of shame. The actual truth is that you simply aren't "good enough" in the hot bad boy's eyes or the successful "perfect" guy's to induce his commitment.]

Of course, this woman not a cliche. Her behavior is a common phenomenon that is a consequence of unrestrained female hypergamy combined with a sexually feral society. And its results are easily anticipated.

Posted in: Rules of Attraction,Society