Tuesday 9 September 2014

A useful phrase

Cailcorishev observes a link between Christian theology and the female predilection for control freakdom:

The traditional Christian viewpoint is that it's Original Sin. Eve violated her husband's headship by eating the apple without his permission and then encouraging him to follow her example, so her descendants are cursed with the temptation to commit the same sin. Ever seen a woman in a restaurant second-guessing her husband's order and commenting on how much salad dressing he uses? It's the apple all over again.
It is remarkable how hard many women find it to keep their mouths shut whenever someone is doing something in front of them. It doesn't matter what it is, the mere fact that a man is doing something is usually enough to inspire their mouths to shift into gear, regardless of whether they know anything about what he is doing or not.

There is one phrase, however, that enables a man to keep control of the situation in all circumstances. It's a reliable workhorse:

"I am not interested in your opinion."

This works whether she actually has a relevant comment or not. It's not defensive, it's not aggressive, it's not uncivil, it is just a very clear indication that the man has taken responsibility, he has the situation under control, and she should stop trying to intervene. It also doesn't give her any ammunition to argue the man's position, as she often will if he says "I know what I'm doing" or otherwise disagrees with her advice. If she doesn't get the message and tries to interject again anyhow, it can be repeated with a little more emphasis.

"What part of 'I am not interested in your opinion' did you not understand?"

This puts her back on the defensive, but makes it clear that it's her own fault. She was already informed to stay out of it, but she IS NOT LISTENING, which of course we all know is something that women consider to be A VERY BAD THING.

Rational argument in these situations serves no purpose whatsoever. I've seen women justify their criticism of men who point out they are doing exactly what the woman herself was doing in the same situation. Unless you're in the mood for hamster-wrestling, neutral resistance to her instinctive control freak tendencies.

The other tactic that can work, but is a bit more negative, is to turn and hand whatever you're doing to the woman and say: "if you want it done your way, then do it yourself." Then walk away and leave her to it. She'll be angry, but after a few instances of this, she'll learn to stop interfering unless she actually wants to be stuck with the task.

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