Alpha Mail: Daughters of divorce

BL asks about the risks of divorced parents:

I have a question for Alpha Game that I would be interested in your thoughts on.  I think it is too politically incorrect to ask anyone else. I know that children of divorced parents have a higher chance of divorce. I was going to automatically eliminate all women who had divorced parents; however, I have been surprised at what a large percentage of women have divorced parents.  Would you recommend avoiding all women with divorced parents or what criterion would you judge them on?

A lot of women do have divorced parents and it is definitely a strike against them. However, not all divorces are created alike. I would consider divorced parents to be more of a yellow light than a red flag; it's important to learn why the parents are divorced, when the parents divorced, and what her relationships with her parents are like.

For example, my parents are divorced. But they divorced long after my formative years, when I was in my late thirties, after their marriage was subjected to extreme situational stress. So my upbringing, and my psychological attitude towards marriage and family, is more or less identical to the average individual whose family is intact. This sort of thing is going to be true of some women.

Other mitigating factors:

• A good, healthy relationship with a father or step-father
• A large extended family
• Genuine (as opposed to cultural) Christianity
• Young parents married out of necessity
• Strong traditional orientation
• High level of domestic skill 

Warning factors:

• Bitterness
• Feminism
• Anger at either parent
• Pride in mother's independence
• Promiscuity, drug use, or tattoos
• A tendency to be quarrelsome 
• Predilection for romance novels and emoporn movies

Divorced parents are not an absolute red flag because we are not our parents, they are an influence, not a causal factor. But one should be quicker to next a woman whose parents are divorced than one would normally be and one should refrain from giving them any additional benefit of the doubt.

Don't pay much attention to her asserted opinion of divorce, unless she is convinced it was a good thing. Most women will talk about divorce being A Bad Thing, but that has very little significance with regards to the likelihood of her following her parents' example.

Posted in: Alpha Mail,Marriage